It's 4:00am and i am wide awake. i can't sleep. i slept for a few hours and awoke at 2:00am and cannot get back to sleep. i am at my Mum's place - in the middle of nowhere - and using dial-up.
i suppose it's because i'm anxious, nervous, and excited.
i'm like Cher - i never thought my Farewell Tour would end but it finally has.
Saturday morning, my Dad arrived at my place in Toronto at 8:30am to start moving my stuff into storage. i had been out the previous night and did not get to sleep until 4:30am. By the time my Dad arrived, i was completely knocked out and just recovering from too much wine. i was so out of it, Bob (the Gay Best Friend), had to open the door for my Dad and half-brother. As we loaded stuff up, my Scottish friend, Richard, arrived to help move. A few minutes later, Ben - my friend from home - also came to help move and catch a lift back to Napanee and the surrounding area.
As we moved stuff about, two people from my building came by to wish me luck and see me off.
i am really going to miss Toronto.
Saturday evening culminated with a Family Farewell of sorts at my Dad's. Some members of my Dad's side of the family stopped in to see me. The two highlights of the evening were getting a call from Jasmine - my best friend from when i was 5 and lived in Napanee - and arguing with my Uncle Robert about Israel's right to exist (FYI: never ask pro-Palestine people if they have seen "Munich"). i only asked if he had seen it as he has done security in the past few years for the Olympics. Who knew that members of my own family housed anti-Israeli opinions? Seriously, some of my family members never cease to astound me; how on earth we share the same DNA and are so vastly different is amazing to me.
Sunday afternoon i visited my Welsh Nanny - which is always hard. She's in an old folks home now and suffering from Alzheimer's. Although she remembered my Dad, she had trouble placing me. Then again, she has 10 kids and god knows how many grandchildren.
This evening, i had dinner with my Nanny and Poppy in Picton, bringing an end to my Family Farewell Tour. Now i just have to drive into Toronto on Wednesday and say my goodbyes to my immediate family. i don't know if it's going to be hard because on the one hand, i feel like this isn't goodbye forever and i will see them soon (i will probably fly back for Christmas - yes, even though i am not a Christian). On the other hand, it's going to be strange living in a country for who knows how long without any immediate family around. While i have friends in Glasgow, i have no one with whom i have a long and rich history like i do in Canada. In some instances, that's liberating in itself but then again, there's nothing like sharing history with your friends and family.