I DREAM OF HAGGIS

Have i mentioned that Alfredo Sauce does not exist in the UK? Or, at the very least, in Scotland?

Such is the existence i have forced upon myself.

Sure, they have Carbonara Sauce (which contains pig - yuck!), but alas no Alfredo Sauce! How i long for Classico Sun-Dried Tomato Alfredo Sauce! i even asked someone in the grocery store if such a sauce existed in this country and they just stared at me. Can you believe that the British - for all their tea, democracy, and Graham Greene - have been living without Alfredo Sauce all these years?!

Nonetheless, i am learning to adapt and be creative with my pasta. i've also had to adapt to the strange smell of yeast that lingers over the city. Apparently it's the smell of beer brewing but really, it smells more like burning tires and my brother's socks from when we were teenagers (sorry, Jason).

In other news, i already have penciled in my friend, Sara, who is coming to visit me at the end of June. Perhaps i can muscle her into bringing me some Alfredo Sauce along with other Canadian goods. And because of my recent employment, i have also been thinking of going to the Cactus Festival in Brugge, Belgium, this July to see the one and only TRAGICALLY HIP (the "heroes of Canadian rock", respectively). Now i know that the Hip are so not cool to all you Toronto Hipsters, but honestly: lighten the fuck up. i saw The Hip about 6-7 years ago in our mutual hometown of Kingston (ok, i am more from the CKWS region - shout out to CKWS) and honestly, they rocked. The hip totally rocked out and i became a fan right then and there. So, due to recent events of Great British Pounds that will be flowing my way soon, i have decided to try and get back to Belgium this summer to see the Hip and partake in the best food in the world.

Honestly, i love Belgium.

i also eagerly await the PROMISED visits from my fag, Bitter Queen, and my comrade in arms, Angie. (ANGIE: i know you read this, so get your ass in gear and book a flight already!) My brother has also promised to visit but you never know with that one...