Two Things

1. i forgot how many attractive people there are in Toronto. Of course, all the attractive and well-groomed dudes are most likely gay...

2. i also forgot about the amount of homeless people on the streets of Toronto. i am not exaggerating when i say that i have only seen ONE homeless dude in Glasgow. And he probably wasn't even homeless; just way too drunk to find his way home most likely. i don't know if it's because Glasgow City Council offers (free) council flats to the homeless or dilutes them into buckfast and then re-sells them to other homeless people or what. Whatever the case, Toronto should follow suit...

Christmas was good; had the traditional white trash marshmallow salad (pictured above), which i LOVE and have missed and of course, had the annual fight with my step family. Why break tradition, right?

It was nice to see my Mom although it was too brief of a visit. i wish i could have stayed with her longer but she is a busy lady and i tend to drive her nuts after four days. So, i am back in Toronto, staying with my gay boyfriend, Bitter Queen, and we have been busy hitting the town and eating our way across Toronto.

Ok, so i totally have been craving for some decent and cheap sushi/sashimi for about 10 months now. Glasgow has yet to get on the whole sushi train. Yes, Marks and Spencer sell "sushi" but really, it's just some veggies, rice, and maybe some smoked salmon. Sushi, to me, is all about a big bowl of raw fish, gross bbq eel, and taking your chances with your bowels when eating it. Photographic evidence of the plethora of raw fish that was consumed below:


My big bowl of raw fish
Tucking in to the raw fish and hoping that my gut doesn't regret it...

MERRY CHRISTMAS, HOSERS!

THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME

Bob and i on the subway coming back from the airport. i forgot what a clean and efficient underground is like...


City Hall
Ok, so this is the #10 - Siam Delight - at one of my favourite restaurants in Toronto, Khmer Thai. i have been dreaming about this dish for about 9 months...

By the way, notice that i am posting this entry at 5.40am; i have been up since about 4.30am. Still running on Glasgow time - an unfortunate side effect of being a jet setter.

i am currently feeling a little bit under the weather. Nevertheless, i am totally excited that in about 24 hours i will be landing in Toronto, and rushing into the sculpted arms of my bitter queen!

Last night was pretty crazy - but in a good way, i think. i met up with my friend, Anna, for a drink (JUST ONE, MOM. Geez) and said our goodbye's until we see each other in the new year. Afterward i met up with The Ex-Rugby Player for some unbelievably yummy French baked cheese and wine at The Cheese Bar. There were so many delicious things to choose from; i wanted to eat my way down the menu. Sometimes i am utterly impressed by the places in Glasgow, and last night was an exercise in me eating my own words about how Toronto has much better restaurants. i think i still maintain that Toronto does have some better places to eat but really, that's just by default since Toronto is about four times the size of Glasgow.

After dinner we headed back to the infamous establishment where i cracked my head on the concrete floor (the wound is healing well, by the way), for a drink. i guess Monday evenings at this particular pub is Old Dudes' Night and Loud English Men Night Out because that is exactly what it felt like. However, there was a group of four people sitting behind us (3 women and 1 man) who - as the evening progressed - just got weirder and weirder. In fact, at one point, when the sole male left the table, two of the girls started kissing and snuggling each other and it might not have been so bad if they weren't so heinous-looking.

It was kind of tragic.

At this point, Ex-Rugby Player made a face that encapsulated the entire essence of the bizarre event and it was so fucking funny that i literally spat out my red wine all over the table and on his shirt. i am all class. i felt really bad but honestly, it was so funny that there was no other option - perhaps maybe death from choking on my wine and own tongue. i apologised profusely and as i cleaned up the wee mess i thought, "how is it that i'm single again?"

i guess Ex-Rugby Player read my expression because he then stated the obvious, "you are a nightmare". He was half-joking. i think.

This is a great BBC documentary i found on YouTube. Be sure to watch all 5 parts; very interesting.

Photo from Chromewaves

Last week in Toronto, a fire destroyed the celebrity and sycophant infested joint, Sassafraz. Where are all the fabulous people in Toronto going to sip their overpriced martinis now!?

Yesterday afternoon as i walked into city centre to meet my friend, Kate, smoke was cascading into Charing Cross and half a dozen fire trucks blocked North Street. i asked someone what was burning to which i was told, "an Indian restaurant on North Street".

i felt the colour drain from my face and my stomach fold into itself. My all-time favourite Indian restaurant, Koh-i-Noor, is on North Street.

Later, i found out that my favourite Indian place wasn't burning down but another famous curry house, Cafe India. i'm not sure how i would have dealt if it was Koh-i-Noor that was gutted by the fire; i practically moved to this city to be closer to their prawn patia dish (i wish i was joking).

Earlier that afternoon, i watched the Old Firm match with some friends in a pub in the west end. My friend, Laurie, and i arrived just as the doors of the pub were opening. Prior to going inside, i took off my Celtic scarf as football stripes (i.e. jerseys, scarves, etc) are generally not accepted. We went inside, secured a table, and waited for our other friend, Tim, to arrive. As Laurie went to get us some drinks (N.B. COFFEE, MOM! We drank COFFEE), i watched the door for Tim's arrival. Just as Tim walked through the door, i stood up, waved, and yelled, "TIM!!!!!!"

Now, most of you Canadians reading this (i.e. my family), probably don't know that "Tim" is sometimes used in Glasgow to refer to someone as Catholic and a Celtic supporter - in a derogatory way. Why exactly? i don't know. Anyway, it wasn't until i sat back down that i realised that i had just stood up in a crowded pub, during an old firm match, and shouted out a sectarian epithet.

Anyway, we watched the game and i lived to tell about it. To be honest, it was pretty innocent and the atmosphere was great. The majority of people were cool and just interested in watching the game. With one exception. Behold, these dudes:

Notice the guy on the left - he is wearing a Rangers jersey. As far as i'm aware, i didn't think you were allowed to wear club colours but whatever; they actually weren't too bad. Just throughout the afternoon they would shout, "COME ON, RANGERS! BLAAAARGHHHH!"

i'll be honest: i'm a fan of both teams; i like Celtic and i like Rangers. How could i ever side with one allegiance?! i'm torn between my love for Paul Telfer and Thomas Buffel...

Walking to work this morning - another grey, windy, and wet day. i know this photo looks like it was taken at night but it was actually taken at around 8.45am this morning.

It is Oran Mor - which used to be a church but is now a more applicable House of Worship: it is a pub and club. It is also the infamous joint in which i fell over backwards and cracked my head on the concrete floor.

Yesterday i took the afternoon off of work to do some Christmas shopping. Not only was it crazy busy in the shopping centre, but the weather was also mental. Buckets of rain were pouring down and umbrellas were useless because the wind was hurricane-like. There is flooding across parts of Scotland. What i would give for just a spot of snow...

Anyway, after shopping in the crowds and tempestuous weather, i was pretty close to loosing it. i got back to my flat, exhausted, soaking wet, and freezing. If i were a drinker (har har!) i could have used a shot of whiskey.

Last night, after shopping in a monsoon and freezing in my flat. Look, Ma! i'm totally sober too! Oh, by the way: if people in Western Scotland are reading this, i'm not Catholic so don't bother sending me hatemail, ok? cool. thanks.

Speaking of sectarianism, yesterday Glasgow played host to a summit on how to end religious bigotry - and not a moment too soon either; this Sunday is an Old Firm game. That is, Rangers and Celtic are playing against each other in Glasgow. Canadians: in case you are confused, i briefly mentioned what this means in this post. i have yet to watch an Old Firm match outside the safety of my "regular" pub (i.e. where the people are cool and everyone knows your name) but this Sunday, apparently i will be watching the match with friends (and Celtic supporters) and as such, pubs must be chosen wisely.

i have to say, this whole religious friction thing is totally weird and foreign to me. i'm not trying to come off as superior and/or more enlightened than my fellow Glaswegians, but i'm more used to trying to avoid annoying hipsters/yuppies in Toronto, that were "slumming" it in the wilds of newly gentrified Parkdale - those were my only concerns before heading out to drink in Canada. Laughing at the Yorkville yuppies in the Drake as they snorted lines of coke off their 7 jeans, tettering on their Jimmy Choo boots. Oh, how innocent it all was...

Kelvin river - taken on my way to work this morning

Walking to work - I AM SO SICK OF THE RAIN!

Struggling in the rain this afternoon - no point in using an umbrella...
In my flat, slowly going insane from the rain lashing my windows...


OHMIGAWD! i bought a new mobile (with a camera phone) and i am now one of those annoying people who thinks, "HOW DID I LIVE WITHOUT A MOBILE BEFORE?!?!??"

i am now addicted to text messaging (even more), taking unflattering self-portraits, downloading annoying ringtones, taking random photos, and changing my cellphone settings every half an hour.

Mom: at least you can now expect daily photo evidence of my TOTALLY SOBER existence in Scotland, OK?! Although reading about the Maple Leafs losing streak could drive any Leafs fan to drink; how did they go from second to tenth place in the Eastern conference?! Oh, Leafs...

Christmas is big in Canada - or rather, i should say "the holidays" are big in Canada. One of the distinct cultural differences that i notice about Canada and our colonizer, the UK, is our different approaches to the festive time of year.

In Canada, we tend to be more inclusive, politically correct, and fret over the anxieties of wishing someone a "merry Christmas". Christmas sorry - the holidays - in Canada are all about unbridled consumerism, overzealous expectations, and familial alienation. It's all about shopping, spending money you don't have, eating stuffed birds with family members, and exchanging gifts. Some people even chose to go to church, although i'm not too certain as to why.

In the UK, Christmas is HUGE - and i don't mean the holidays; i mean CHRISTMAS = the celebration of our Lord baby Jesus' birth. No sane Scottish person gives a shit about Hanukkah or Kwanzaa or Festivus. Now, that's not to say that Scottish people are actually interested in honouring the baby Jesus' birthday but rather, the Scots are only interested in it so far as it is an excuse to:

1. party
2. drink

And those are two excuses i can totally get behind.

The holidays sorry, CHRISTMAS is unabashedly...well, Christmas here. Everyone assumes everyone else celebrates it and hey, the way these people celebrate it, well, i can see why. In Canada, we tend to overeat during "the holidays". In Scotland, they tend to over drink.

Another difference i have noticed are something referred to as: Work Christmas Nights Out/Parties. This is a concept wherein you and people from your work get dressed up in fancy clothes, pay £40 to eat some overpriced meal, get wasted, and do something you will regret on Monday morning at the office. In Toronto, work places don't really celebrate Christmas - again, the whole PC thing - and if you're lucky, your work might sponsor a Holiday lunch. But that's it.

Who will have the number 1 Christmas song on the charts is another concern over here. That and how many drinks you can get down you without tossing up your Marks and Spencers mince pies, of course.

BRAIN DAMAGE

i ended up going to the hospital last night after work and the doctor prescribed the usual: get lots of rest, avoid strenuous activities for a while, and the obvious: stop falling down drunk with rugby players on top of me. After a good night's sleep, i do feel better although i did wake up (again) last night at around 5am due to a sore neck and head.

Not only was this past weekend quite humbling, but also totally mental weather wise. All day Sunday, it was like a hurricane/typhoon/end of the world. Unfortunately i had to venture out to pay some bills and buy some food and i swear, i was almost blown over by the gale force winds and in the 10 minutes it took me to walk to my destination, i was completely drenched. Utterly soaking. The rain did not stop all day or all night and yesterday morning (monday), it was STILL raining and the wind was out of control.

No wonder these people drink like they do.

SERIOUS HEAD PROBLEMS

With the little dignity that remains after this weekend, i will try to recount the events without going into too much detail (for the sake of my own sanity and my Mom's).

Friday night i went out with some friends for a drink and received a text from this guy i had meet last weekend and been out with a couple times. He was just down the road at another pub with friends and invited me to join him. So, i did. Now, please bear in mind that for the last 9 years of my legal drinking life, i did not really drink. When people tell you that you will end up drinking a lot more when moving to the UK - believe it. In Canada, people do coffee; In the UK, people don't do drinks but rather, the booze does them. Basically, British people are genetically superior when it comes to alcohol consumption and i wouldn't be surprised if lager ran through their veins instead of blood.

Anyway, i ended up meeting this guy and his friends for some drinks. Long story short: if i remember correctly, i think we were leaning into kiss and somehow we lost our balance and i ended up smacking my head on the concrete floor with my ex-rugby player date on top of me.

Blood was everywhere; i was mortified and started flipping out. People came running over to help but i was trying to tell them i was alright. i think i started yelling at my date to leave me alone and that i was going home. Concerned that i was seriously injured, he insisted on taking me to my flat. He quickly sobered up and got me into my shower. i think i started crying because there was blood everywhere and i HATE the sight of blood.

Yes, i probably should have gone to the hospital but anyone who knows me, knows that i am a spaz and ESPECIALLY a spaz when confronted with hospitals and needles; the thought of stitches in my scalp is too much.

So, i'm currently suffering from wounded pride and some post-concussion symptoms. i think, for now, i am going to stop trying to keep up with my genetically superior British friends when it comes to the sauce.