Monday, January 15, 2007

How did i spend my weekend?

Well, friday night my landlord's father came over with a friend to clean up the mountain of plaster and pieces of ceiling off of my floor. The large hole still remains, however, and i hope it is to be repaired soon. Afterwards i had to clean and wash every article in my flat as it was covered with a layer of asbestos-like dust from all the removal. i quickly developed a massive headache and waited for blood to spurt out of my nose. It never did but i achieved a weird high from inhaling the toxic mix of cleaning supplies and ancient plaster from the turn of the 19th century.

Saturday afternoon - in the midst of ridding my clothes of the plaster dust - the Cute Engineer called me, as he was around the corner, and did i want to go for coffee? Totally. So, i left my Ground Zero Flat, hopped a ride in his jeep, and we hit the road for some overpriced coffee in the west end. Saturday evening, my friend Anna came over and we went to my friend's place to watch the Kylie Homecoming Tour on Channel 4. My British friends could not get over the fact that i had never seen Neighbours (we don't get it in Canada); hardly know Kylie songs pre-Fever album; and that Kylie has never toured North America.

During the course of the night, my friend and i came up with a new theory to explain many strange occurrences in Glasgow: The Deficiency Syndrome. As i mentioned in a previous post, there are currently 40,000 more single women in Glasgow then men - statistically making it a shit place for females if you want to find a decent bloke. Nevertheless, this deficiency is most likely responsible for a lot of the pattern behaviours exercised by both sexes. Namely:

a) attractive females with less than average boyfriends

b) large percentages of Glaswegian men with inflated egos

c) skanky "night wear" displayed by some of the female tribes of Glasgow

d) overly aggressive females who drunkenly fight one another in the street at 2am, under a shower of chips, irn bru, and high-pitched squeals

e) the sad (and confirmed fact) lack of decent single men

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