I'm back from Cyprus but of course, you would never know because I somehow managed to avoid getting a tan.

I loved Cyprus, despite parts of it being overrun with tourists. It's very strange to fly almost 5 hours to a foreign country where many restaurants advertise a "full English breakfast". Where the British once invaded countries and proclaimed them in the name of the Empire, British imperialism is now evident in the mass resorts catered for English tourists. Nevertheless, it's a gorgeous wee island brimming with history and lovely people.

Anyway, I'm too lazy/ tired to recount my trip just now but here is a run down of where we went:

-Pafos
- Lefkosia
- Akamas Peninsula
- North Nicosia (Northern Cyprus - a.k.a. Occupied territory by Turkey)

Check out more photos here.

My brother and his partner have been here for a few days, staying with Paul and I, hence the lack of posts. They flew down to London this morning and will be there for a few days before heading back to Canada; I miss them already!

Paul and I, however, are heading to Cyprus today for my birthday (which is tomorrow) and of course, all night foam parties in Ayia Napa (not - that shit is for Eurotrash)!

I'm so excited because I have wanted to go to Cyprus for a long time now - mainly because my best friend, Bob (a.k.a. Bombo/Coco/Cha Cha), as seen here last year in Glasgow, is a Canadian-Cypriot. Growing up, Bob's Mom, Nitsa, would make fried cheese that, being a fat kid, I absolutely loved!

Basically I'm going for the food. And because I wanted to go to Turkey but Paul didn't but at least this way, we can head to the Northern bit that is occupied by Turkey.

Later, malakas!

Check out the new fab Irn Bru ad:

Featuring Paul's Nana's kitchen 45 seconds in!

Gosh, don't you just love football and the (sometimes) violent fanatics that support certain teams? Ugh.

I have to admit: I am embarrassed that these images are being broadcast around the world, portraying Scottish people (or rather, men) as drunk thugs! This is not true so please, dear family and friends back in Canada, do not believe that I live in a country populated by violent and barbaric troglodytes. Yes, there are pockets of some but overall, Scottish people are lovely and warm creatures with an irreverent sense of humour!

Regarding the Uefa cup final last night, I read an interesting comment on Limmy's blog. Some dude named Murphy wrote:

"I’m fuckin embarrassed anaw

answer me this though - how come the tartan army, comprising of both celtic and rangers supporters, gets comended on their good (if loud and drunken) behaviour all over the world - but in glasgow it’s fuckin high noon constantly?

eh - wits that all aboot?"

Yeah, what is that all about?

When it comes to day-to-day life in the UK, it's all about inconvenience. A prime example? Banks.

My bank, the Royal Bank of Scotland, is open from 9.15am to 4.45pm every day - except Wednesday, when they open at 10.00am. This wouldn't be so bad if the bank machines over here allowed you to make deposits to your account, (as they do in my homeland of Canada, as pictured above), which of course they do not.

Allowing ATMS over here to accept deposits would just be too simple and efficient, which is why they are not implemented in the UK. No, you have to stand in line for 20 minutes on your lunch break, like every other working schmuck, and actually speak to human to put money or a cheque into your account. At the rate that this country outsources "customer service" (see BT), you would think that by now, they would have replaced any humans with machines?!

Second on my list of inconvenient annoyances? The library. Who the hell would have thought that borrowing a book was so damn hard? Trying to get a library card in the first instance is, of course, next to impossible as an immigrant (i.e. you need prove of address: a certified bill with your UK address on it, which means, of course, getting a bank account - something that is extremely difficult, which I already almost lost my mind over).

Right. So the library.

Assuming that there is a book in the digital catalogue that piques your interest but it's available on the other side of town, rather than being able to order it online - the efficient method - you need to physically ask the librarian, who will make an order and you will be MAILED - yes, MAILED - a postcard to your home when it's available for pick up at your local library.

With libraries like these, it makes Amazon all the more appealing.

You know what annoys me? When people - often non-Scottish ones - ask me if I have ever had a deep-fried Mars bars. The way that this myth - yes, MYTH - has spread around the world, you would think that the Scottish people eat one every day and that every local chippy has it on their menu.

The answer is no: I have never had a deep-fried Mars bar nor have I ever seen a single person eat one and nor have I ever seen it on a menu.

People, listen up: the deep-fried Mars bar is mostly an urban legend. The fact is, if you take any sort of food into a chippy shop and ask them to deep-fry it for you, they will.

No doubt that at some point in recent years desperate Scots, looking for some extra grease, have ordered a deep-fried Mars bar but honestly, I don't know a single Scottish person who eats them. The only people that you find asking for a deep-fried Mars bar are tourists, who seem to think that it's a Scottish dietary staple.

Now, if you ask for a deep-fried pizza or sausage supper, that's more authentic!

WEEKEND IN PICTURES

It was a long weekend (a.k.a "bank holiday weekend"), here in the UK and since it was absolutely gorgeous, sunny and hot out today, Paul and I drove to Loch Lomond - along with the rest of Glasgow - to enjoy the sun by the bonnie banks of Loch Lomond.


So hot out; I'm not used to it.

Two pasty white people who haven't seen the sun in a long time.





Video of the country side, on our way to Loch Lomond (*Note: turn down the sound as the wind is LOUD*)


Ella Fitzgerald singing that famous Scottish song, Bonnie Banks of Loch Lomond

This pretty much sums up my religious views

Is This Shirt Offensive?

Dear readers from across the pond: you could be forgiven for having no idea how controversial this shirt has turned out to be, over here in the West of Scotland.

You see, as you may or may not be aware, there was an Old Firm match (Celtic vs. Rangers, that is) this past Sunday. Celtic beat Rangers 3-2 in a thrilling game that I watched with a fellow female (and Celtic fan), Claire. Until this past Sunday, Rangers were leading the Scottish Premier League but with Celtic's win on Sunday, they are now in the lead.

After the match, Celtic's goalie, Artur Boruc - a Polish catholic - pulled off his jersey to reveal a t-shirt of the late Pope John Paul II. Innocent enough, right? Unfortunately, not so in a religiously divided city like Glasgow.

Personally, I don't have an issue with the shirt - besides the obvious questionable taste in style and fashion - but apparently it enraged quite a few Rangers fans (who were, no doubt, sore from having just lost). It's pissed off quite a few media outlets as well; you could say that Boruc's t-shirt is Scotland's own fucking Miley Cyrus scandal. Both of whom - Boruc and Cyrus - made calculated moves and when they backfired, they claimed innocence.

Initially, I thought it was quite antagonistic on Boruc's part. My boyfriend then said to me, "why is the picture of the late Pope so offensive?!" and you know, I guess he's right.

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