Monday, June 30, 2008

I had a landmark experience recently - I was kicked out of a club/bar for the first time ever!

I wish I could say that I was kicked out for some real rock n' roll reason like getting drunk and stripping on the bar but alas, it was lame.

See, it was a Friday and I had been at work all day and then rushed off to the hospital to visit my boyfriend. Afterwards, I met up with my friend, Claire, for a drink. After two gin and tonics at The State Bar, we headed off to Moskito - a place I have never been before and not sure that I will ever go back - for an overpriced cocktail.

Claire and I sat down with our cocktails and were enjoying our drinks when one of the bouncers came over and addressed the Polish dude sitting across from us. The bouncer told him to take off his cap. Confused, the Polish dude shook his head as if to confirm that he was perplexed by the request. The bouncer, in a LOUDER and STERNER voice, again said: "TAKE OFF YOUR HAT" and pointed to his head. Finally, the Polish dude took off his hat and made the universal face for "what the fuck?!"

That should have been a warning for later events.

About half an hour later, Claire went out for a cigarette, leaving me to read some trashy magazine. I started to feel tired and thought, "yeah, I'll just close my eyes for 'a rest' until Claire gets back". About 5 minutes later, I was shook awake by some huge bouncer dude.

"Get up" he requested.

Sitting up straight, I replied, "uhhh...yeah, ok. I'm up. Sorry."

"No, you need to get up and leave" He announced.

"Wha'??? But I'm not even drunk. Why do I have to leave?"

"You fell asleep in the club"


"It's illegal to fall asleep in a club in Scotland. You need to leave"

Totally shocked, I grabbed Claire's stuff and my bag and stormed outside. Finding Claire, amongst the smokers, I screamed: "Claire. We have to go! I GOT KICKED OUT OF THE CLUB FOR FALLING ASLEEP".

Clarie, who has been kicked out of half a dozen bars herself, just laughed and said, "Jen! You are so wild!!!!"

Seriously, I wasn't even drunk - what's the point!? Maybe if the bar didn't play shit house music I wouldn't have been lulled asleep by it.


Squirmy Popple said...

Nice! I've never been kicked out of a club myself, though Adrian was once kicked out for dancing into a bouncer. I guess that's illegal too.

vomitfire said...

At least you weren't tasered dude!!!

Pascale Clerk said...

Gee, that's a club I'm going to avoid for sure (not that I intended to ever go there). I'll stick to the Halt bar.

David T. Macknet said...

There is a subtle ... well, hierarchy, I guess, among pubs. It's not something a non-native can pick up on (at least, we can't), but there's something about different pubs which says, 'stay away, this place is poison!'

We've gone out with natives a few times, and they've flat-out refused to go into some places ... and then gone into others which looked just the same to us. We can't figure it.

So - we frequent 78, if at all, because at least it's Vegan ... and, really, how wrong can Vegans be? (well, ok, they can be a bit whiny, but that's just them)

Anonymous said...

Hmmm....I thought you had to be asleep AND drunk to be kicked out!