I DREAM OF HAGGIS

DATING IN SCOTLAND: Weegie vs Edinbugger Edition

Ever since being dumped just over a week ago, I have been thinking about my dating experiences in Scotland. Or rather, my dating mishaps. Specifically, I have been wondering whether or not there is an intrinsic difference between Glaswegian men and Edinburgh men.

My experiences in dating dudes from Edinburgh have ranged from the bland (Ed - posh but a bit creepy) to the outright bizarre (remember my date with J, the cokehead fart-blamer?). And most recently, there was Edinburgh Dude - who broke up with me a day before my 32nd birthday.

I met Edinburgh Dude on Match.com (side rant: I wouldn't really recommend internet dating; not because I think there's a social stigma against it - quite the opposite; it seems to be populated by the masses who like "clubbing", "shopping" and watching Top Gear while chortling along with Jeremy Clarkson's blowhard racist remarks. Not that there's anything wrong with clubbing and shopping - two necessary evils, I realise, that I'm just not that keen on. Top Gear sucks though. No excuses. So while there may have initially been a social disapproval against internet dating a few years ago, it now seems to have been warmly embraced by the mainstream. I don't want to sound like a dick - although I probably am one - but I found that I was smarter and funnier than most dudes on that website and really, that's not really fun for me; I wanna be in awe of someone, you know?)

Anyway, Edinburgh Dude blew me away - he was very intelligent, cultured, polite, sweet, and he made me laugh. Oh, and he was really hot. Like so-hot-that-you-can't-look-them-in-the-eye-any-longer-than-3-seconds-hot, you know? However.

Yes, however.

Even before he met me in person, he knew he was going to be moving to London to start a new job. Even after three dates (three awesome dates), he knew he was moving to London. And he chose not to tell me until our fourth date. Why withhold such pertinent information? Perhaps he wasn't 100% certain about moving; perhaps he wanted to wait until the contract was signed; perhaps he wanted to ensure he had sealed the deal (maybe with his new job or indeed, maybe with me?) Or maybe it was just about waiting until the right time. I can only speculate.

As he was breaking up with me (which felt a bit contrived, if I'm honest), he said, "I knew I would really like you." Words which will, unfortunately, probably stay with me for awhile. Yes, well, I had hoped you would really like me, OBVIOUSLY. And it makes me wonder, was he that selfish that he pursued me for his own brief pleasure? I mean, I know I'm pretty awesome (not really) so I'm bound to pique the interest of similarly awesome people but really, I am naive. Or maybe a hopeless romantic. Which then leads me to wonder: are even the best of men out there selfish to a fault?

So, my track record with dudes from Edinburgh has not been great. Is it me or them? Then again, clearly my track record with Glaswegian guys isn't much better. Can simply residing in two different cities (two very different cities), have such an influence on the characteristics of people? And would such characteristics influence ones dating strategies?

Scottish people of the internet: help, because I am at a loss here! For the last five years I have tried to navigate the murky waters of dating in Scotland, and clearly I am lost at sea, attracted to the perilous rocks on which the beautiful sirens reside. I need to be steered towards the safety of harbour and keep those dangers - but oh so lovely dangers - at bay. So, lets have it. Scottish dating rituals/habits/pointers in the comments, please. Lets get this flame war started!