Tuesday, May 31, 2011

DATING IN SCOTLAND: Weegie vs Edinbugger Edition

Ever since being dumped just over a week ago, I have been thinking about my dating experiences in Scotland. Or rather, my dating mishaps. Specifically, I have been wondering whether or not there is an intrinsic difference between Glaswegian men and Edinburgh men.

My experiences in dating dudes from Edinburgh have ranged from the bland (Ed - posh but a bit creepy) to the outright bizarre (remember my date with J, the cokehead fart-blamer?). And most recently, there was Edinburgh Dude - who broke up with me a day before my 32nd birthday.

I met Edinburgh Dude on Match.com (side rant: I wouldn't really recommend internet dating; not because I think there's a social stigma against it - quite the opposite; it seems to be populated by the masses who like "clubbing", "shopping" and watching Top Gear while chortling along with Jeremy Clarkson's blowhard racist remarks. Not that there's anything wrong with clubbing and shopping - two necessary evils, I realise, that I'm just not that keen on. Top Gear sucks though. No excuses. So while there may have initially been a social disapproval against internet dating a few years ago, it now seems to have been warmly embraced by the mainstream. I don't want to sound like a dick - although I probably am one - but I found that I was smarter and funnier than most dudes on that website and really, that's not really fun for me; I wanna be in awe of someone, you know?)

Anyway, Edinburgh Dude blew me away - he was very intelligent, cultured, polite, sweet, and he made me laugh. Oh, and he was really hot. Like so-hot-that-you-can't-look-them-in-the-eye-any-longer-than-3-seconds-hot, you know? However.

Yes, however.

Even before he met me in person, he knew he was going to be moving to London to start a new job. Even after three dates (three awesome dates), he knew he was moving to London. And he chose not to tell me until our fourth date. Why withhold such pertinent information? Perhaps he wasn't 100% certain about moving; perhaps he wanted to wait until the contract was signed; perhaps he wanted to ensure he had sealed the deal (maybe with his new job or indeed, maybe with me?) Or maybe it was just about waiting until the right time. I can only speculate.

As he was breaking up with me (which felt a bit contrived, if I'm honest), he said, "I knew I would really like you." Words which will, unfortunately, probably stay with me for awhile. Yes, well, I had hoped you would really like me, OBVIOUSLY. And it makes me wonder, was he that selfish that he pursued me for his own brief pleasure? I mean, I know I'm pretty awesome (not really) so I'm bound to pique the interest of similarly awesome people but really, I am naive. Or maybe a hopeless romantic. Which then leads me to wonder: are even the best of men out there selfish to a fault?

So, my track record with dudes from Edinburgh has not been great. Is it me or them? Then again, clearly my track record with Glaswegian guys isn't much better. Can simply residing in two different cities (two very different cities), have such an influence on the characteristics of people? And would such characteristics influence ones dating strategies?

Scottish people of the internet: help, because I am at a loss here! For the last five years I have tried to navigate the murky waters of dating in Scotland, and clearly I am lost at sea, attracted to the perilous rocks on which the beautiful sirens reside. I need to be steered towards the safety of harbour and keep those dangers - but oh so lovely dangers - at bay. So, lets have it. Scottish dating rituals/habits/pointers in the comments, please. Lets get this flame war started!


David T. Macknet said...

Alas, no advice for you, although that was quite rude of the guy - just out for his own pleasure? Awful.

I think that there are cultural things which, coming from California, we definitely don't pick up on. I'm sure that there are for you, as well. Sorry.

Jennifer said...

Well, I am only speculating....I can't say for sure.

Timorous Beastie said...

I'm from Glasgow, and would not recommend attempting to form a meaningful relationship with any man from the west of Scotland, but I'm probably a bit biased.
There's a class issue that (in my mind at least) might make Glasgow/Edinburgh guys a bit different, but you no doubt know that already, and there must be loads of exceptions.
Sorry, not much help from me either.

Jennifer said...

Timorous Beastie - wow. You don't have much faith in west of Scotland dudes! Maybe there are a few exceptions? I'm not sure either. There are a few nice dudes that I know from west of scotland but of course, they are all taken!

Mark Rupperts @ plentyoffish.com said...

It's just a matter of trust and most especially your love to one another. There are many people who have met and became partners through online dating.

millionaire dating said...

It was an unfortunate event indeed. Maybe it's time to find a new guy. It's not yet late. There's no harm in trying again. You might find your one true love online. Try it and see it for yourself.

Anonymous said...

Hi Jennifer, you are hilarious! (I'm a Canadian too). I was trolling the Web to find some writing about dating Scottish men and I came across your blog. I am at the early early ... (did I say 'early'?) stages of falling for a Scottish guy (having exhausted myself over the Dutch species).. and there are some differences between us. I am 13 years older than he is and with a university degree (PhD)... while he is high-school educated. Did I say that we've met online? There is something so damned earnest about this young man... Anyway, you are lucky that you are in your 20s.. (early 30s now?) as its hell to date over the age of 40.

Anonymous said...

Ur blog has changed ma lyf

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I have read about your dating experiences in Scotland. Thanks for share your experience.

www.millionairematch.com said...

Oh the Scots!How I love them.I've been getting my fix watching Outlander on Starz.Such a variety of delightful,beguiling native Scots on the show,lovely Scottish scenery.I simply need to jettison it all and move there!

@Sandra Allen.

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