Monday, August 15, 2011

it was confessional, yet cautious

Everything is about perfect timing: from waiting those three seconds before delivering that killer one-liner to making the perfect meringues to actually meeting someone decent when you're in a healthy state of mind (somewhere I hadn't been for a while). And life is filled with "what ifs" and near-misses: what if I had never came to Glasgow as a university student on exchange? And what if I had never dated my ex for 4 years?

If I never came to Glasgow, well, I can't be certain but I can guess that I would have been miserable and still living in Toronto. And regretful. And If I had never dated my ex, I wouldn't have met Claire - one of my best friends and one of the most kind and beautiful people I know; I love Glaswegians and Claire makes me love them that much more.

And if I had never dated my ex, I wouldn't have known what sort of relationship and behaviour I would not be willing to accept; I wouldn't have known the sort of strength it takes to JUST. WALK. AWAY; I wouldn't have known that no matter how impossible you think something is, it's possible.

And what if I had never gone to Tinderbox last month and bumped into G, someone I have known for four years but haven't seen in about....oh, one? Claire and I were having a mid-week coffee, cake and gossip session (a semi-ritual) when G came into the cafe. Claire, facing the entrance way, suddenly stopped mid-sentence and announced, "Oh look! There's G_____!" Turning to face the door, I was floored. As mentioned, I hadn't seen G in about a year and during that time, he had changed appearance: gone were the glasses, floppy hair, and goatee. I mean, he'd always been cute but standing in front of us was someone else entirely.

He took a seat with us and in those brief 10 minutes of chat (before his date showed up!) I cannot recall anything we spoke about; I was too awkward. Shy. In lust.

We exchanged pleasantries before G got up to meet his date. And that was that. Only it wasn't. Impossibilities suddenly become a possibility. And the unavailable suddenly become available.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Roar! Keep up the good feelings even though some days it might be hard to do!